I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you win again, gameday.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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