Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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