Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
