it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
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