He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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