I'm gonna have a badass scar
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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