No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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