he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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