This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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