Redeem this text for a blowjob
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I love you. Go after that dick
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
And then he peed in my hair
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