When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
