her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
