I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
