Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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