Define "chronic" masturbator.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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