just come out here and I will go home with you...
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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