you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
