It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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