so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
