i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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