he shaved USA in his pubs
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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