fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
