come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
