The maid of honor just puked.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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