I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
