I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i was born a porn star she said
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Can I color on your dick again?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
