i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
