I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
