I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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