i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize