Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
