my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
