I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
