it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
