i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
