So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
