He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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