trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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