They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
