Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
