Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
She bit a glass in half.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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