That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I know her cup size but not her name....
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
