i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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