He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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