it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
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