Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
