Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
