also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
