I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
