I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
