so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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