I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
