im six kinds of drunk right now
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
