We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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