My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
