the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
