when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
