R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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