Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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