Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
