chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize